@#$@# Days 'till Christmas..

I actually had an argument with someone as to whether or not "Sleigh Ride" had words to it. And despite the fact that I could sing it the whole way through for him, only led him to proclaim that I must have made them up on the spot.

Well then damn, I must be GOOD.

(note the use of the word "him"...explains much).

We used to play this song in band in 9th grade, and my friend LuLu played all the percussion bits. I was first flute so we had a direct visual line to each other. We regularly went into 9th grade spasms of laughter over the manner in which one had to play the bells. Don't ask...it's entirely pervy and your brain would be much the worse for knowing.

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You know it's Christmas when, for breakfast, you eat: a bit of Hickory Farms beef stick, a few christmas shaped shortbread with green and red sprinkles, and a slice of altered fruit called a Grapple....which smells like grape Bubble Yum.

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And of course it being Christmas, we finally got around to watching Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. It's taken me all these years to realize just how deeply disturbing this thing is:

Santa: jolly old elf or aryan nation idealist? Rudolphs nose..well it's too big and red! He could NEVER be good enough to join Santas master team of reindeer.

Rudolph: segregated from his reindeer school, and turned away from his true love for his "different color". Not accepted until he can provide some sort of service to THE MAN.

Hermey: clearly gay. His urge to pursue his REAL love has him ostrocized to such a point that he must run away to the Isle of MISFITS.

Bumble: turned into a chained and bound abject slave. Hobbled by removing his teeth and forced to participate in cult like ritual of tree decorating.

Island of MisFit Toys: you realize this is really just like a LEPER colony.

What have I been watching all these year?!