Have you ever gone your entire life "knowing" a song, fake "hmmm, hmmm, baby" singing through the lyrics but belting out the chorus along to the bits you know, when out of the blue you suddenly realize what the song is about...and you're HORRIFIED.

Yep, well let me just say what the HELL is up with the Pina Colada song?! Hmmm, I think I'll write a big hit about two morons blatantly caught soliciting boozed up public monkey sex from someone who is NOT their current partner...and they're edified by the experience, joining in a merry little chuckle together.

So now I know. It's not a jaunty bopping your hands on the steering wheel fun little ditty, it's a "hey it's all right if your partner is a sand in the hoo-ha, froo-froo drink drinkin' whore!" song.

Note carefully that a man sings this, otherwise it would not have been titled "Escape (The Pina Colada Song)" but "Lawsuit (Little Umbrella to the Scrotum Song)"