For some reason, I just had one incredibly random flash back.

We had this water jug...now remember, this was the late 70's, people didn't quite get germs, e. coli, you name it. My mom used to make this little snack with raw yolk, salt, pepper and crackers...she used to let us taste the raw hamburger meat to suck the Lawry's seasoning out of it. And somehow we survived those brushes with bacteria. Anywho...back to the water jug. Sort of our little version of bottled water, sans sanitation. It was just an old plastic Borden milk jug, rinsed out, and filled with tap water. We would leave it in the fridge, and whenever someone got thirsty, just go over and take a swig.

I was all of, hmmm, I guess 5 the day the water jug went missing.

Pops is perplexed, and all kinds of squinched up.

WHERE is the milk jug?

WHO TOOK this priceless plastic water nee dairy heirloom?

HOW can we drink water if we don't have a water jug (errrr...glass? Your lazy ass might consider refilling the ice tray?)

So we're lined up gestapo style. Little ol' me, 8 year old brother, 11 year old sister.

Parents stand in front of us, staring us down. The ultimatum is given:

If whoever took the jug does not confess, we are ALL getting spankings.

So I stepped forward, shakily confessing to the daring H2O heist.

Now of course I didn't have one clue what had happened to it. I'd like to say that I was just that much of a martyr, but y'know, I was FIVE. I didn't get that confessing wouldn't mean an escape from a spanking, but that only 1/3 of us would get it.

Of course, my parents had figured that one out...everyone knows what a chicken I was. Sure, I choked the cat that time, but not out of homicidal rage, it was just really cool to a 5 year old how his tongue came out like that.

I sort of draw a blank from there. I don't know if my brother confessed at that time, or if my parents were just so touched by my fake confession that they dropped the whole thing. I do know that at some point the day before, bro had decided to take the jug outside and FALLEN on the damn thing.

Now I ask you...which is more twisted:
1) that a used plastic milk jug was worth a spanking
2) that a kid knew a squished jug was such a big deal that he hid it
3) that there was probably an expired jug of milk in the fridge awaiting our use
or
4) that all 5 of us swigged out of a shared a water jug to start with? GUUUUUUUUUH....