You know you married a redneck..

When you can entertain people with the story of the time your husband's dad once traded a pig for an airconditioning unit.

No really, true story.

Or the time when my fella' caught a prairie next to the house on fire, and in the course of trying to put it out with a shovel had one of his infamous nose bleeds. His dad came home a few hours later and all he saw was a bloody shirt, a scorched yard and a shovel. Nothing to be alarmed at there...other then a grown man having a heart attack in his own front yard.

Then there's the story he likes to tell about about the two...no..wait...three times he's fallen out of a moving vehicle.

He's still a wonderful man...double negatives and all.

You know it's a bad sign when...

I was lying on the couch with my cat at the other end. Dead asleep...twitching slightly. The cat, not me. I stretched my leg out, pushing my foot closer to the cat. She bolts from a dead sleep, straight up, hair on end.

I'd say that scaring domestic animals with your feet is an excellent measuring stick to determine if you need a pedicure.

Or odor eaters, but we won't go there.