Random Life

I know I blog about once every 6 months..or 9..or so. Frankly, what is there to write about? If you want to know how today has been, go back a year and a half in my blog and just add, "later, the same day..."

**DH has taken up football. Not playing it, of course, he's come to the armchair fan part of manliness late in life. He's very verbally enthusiastic, and his emoting is giving me PTS flashbacks. Tony Romo fumbles and suddenly I'm 9 years old, sitting on my porch with another little girl, hearing through the window, "Goddamn it mother f***er, throw the sum'bitch ballllllll!!!" It says a lot about where I come from that the only explanation I had to give was, "Cowboys," and all was understood.

**Despite the 4th and goal catterwauling, DH is in my good graces. Tonight we carved pumpkins and he gallantly pulled out all of the pumpkin boogers. Go figure, I can stick my hand up a frozen turkey's butt but the inside of a pumpkin gives me the heaves.

**School is going well. If all goes as planned, I'll be done in the spring and then............good question. I'm looking into what it takes to be a grant writer...or a proofreader...or sell plasma. I really have no clue. I am specializing in "Professional Writing" in some hopes of legitimizing my English degree. I realized I'd better figure out something to do with it since every time I tell someone I'm majoring in English, they say, "Oh you're going to be a teacher?" What the hell?! I went to see the career counselor and he very nicely said, "You can do practically ANYTHING with a liberal arts degree!!" I wanted to say, "Look jackhole, as an English major, I may never make more than $30K in my lifetime, but I DO know how to read between the lines."

Ok, I digressed somewhere. Oh yes, professional writing. Last semester I flew through writing a 10 pg paper on the Patriotic & Feminist Iconography of Joan of Art, but I freeze up when writing a 1 pg business memo. All your dangling modifiers are exposed, and who knew expletives weren't just what you say when you zip up your belly roll (no really, I've done it). I am currently sweating bullets over a brochure. You see, in professional writing every thing is very cut and dry - in other words, "keep it simple stupid." The classes have made me realize that, to english majors, adjectives and adverbs are crack. Suddenly, someone tells you you're not supposed to use them and you start jonesing for an "extremely" or even a wee little, "very."

**Veering off into left field again, my prof. writing teacher pulled me aside Thursday and said, "Can you think of any reason why another student would turn in the exact same paper as you?" The world literally belly flopped at that point. This was Thursday at the end of class, and she still needed to talk to the mysterious "other person," so I haven't heard anything else about it. The stupid part of this is that the assignment was a one page letter of instructions relating to something you've done in a past job. One page. How butt lazy do you have to be? And mine isn't particularly that great. I wrote my assignment as a 7-point dissertation on, get this...Dostoevsky would be so jealous..."How to Arrange a Job Interview." All the cool papers I've written and THIS is what gets ripped off? Luckily, my teacher knows I was a recruiter in the past, she is familiar with my writing style (in other words, coming to her office a number of times torturing myself over the placement of a comma), AND..well frankly..I'm the best writer she's got (not saying much, only 3 people in the class are English majors and the rest should bitch slap their high schools for letting them graduate). I think this will resolve itself very nicely. Hoping the ijit accidentally pulled one of my first drafts off the lab printer instead of their own. We'll see.

**Just read (because I have been hiding under a rock) my first David Sedaris book. Now THAT is the way to make a living. What a fantastic writer.