Though possibly the world's weirdest contest, I would like to nominate this book for hand's down the funniest euphemisms for sex ever written, as spoken by a demon dog (now if that doesn't have you rushing to Amazon, I don't know what will).

Remember me, me?

Wow, a solid 14 months since my last post. Just saaaaaaad.

And to think, there's just not that much to add. Not that I'm complaining. Every year I'm more and more content with being able to tell people "everything is status quo." Because when you can say that, and it means something positive, then you're doing all right.

Though I admit a small part of me (not the free-margarita loving part) is dreading DH's coworker's 4th party. Every time I go to one of these things, I'm asked, "so what are you doing these days?" My usual crackpot instinct is to respond something like:

I'm currently functioning as my husband's Executive Ho.

I'm in the service of a sugar daddy.

Self-Licensed Feline Bong-type Asthma Device Operator.

I vacuum Roombas, though I moonlight every 4 weeks as a Shrew.

Which tends to cause both good and bad responses. Good: they stop asking questions. Bad: People go out of their way to make sure I'm never between them and the exit.

So instead I just smile and say, "Not much!"

Therefore I'll say again...what have I been up to? Not much, status quo. Ain't it sweet :)